it's like iHOP with fire
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize