He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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