There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
