was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
