She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
