hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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