I hate all girls vehemently.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
