So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
