i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
