Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
