Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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