Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
