Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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