i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
