at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
