I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
