I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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