Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
