I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
