My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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