I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
