I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
