A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
sarcasm needs its own font
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize