my vag is so smooth its legendary
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
