She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
