when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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