omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
