yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
