My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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