try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
