I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
