its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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