He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize