I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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