I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Church boner. Awkwardddd
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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