dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize