It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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