We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
