she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
