i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize