Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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