just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
