so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
