im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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