so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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