I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
