That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
