Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
