Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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