if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
