seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
