Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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