Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
