I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
