She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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