I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
