...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
