PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
