that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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