I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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