Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
